I Have a Dream...

Actually I just had a dream. It wasn't one of those happy dreams either. Actually, I think it classifies it more as a nightmare of sorts. So here I am writing to my faithful readers (or what few still check this thing as I haven't posted in almost a month) before 6 in the morning.

Summer terms here at Southwestern are more hectic than the summer terms at UNF. Back in undergrad, I could take two to three classes and get by with ease - no worries or stress. Here one class can be the death of anyone who doesn't stay on top of things. I'm entering my final week of the summer classes and I have a 10-page paper and one final exam. The exam will be easy money (I haven't made less than an A+ on any of them), but the 10-page paper may be another story.

The reason I haven't posted in so long is really because there is not much to report. Summer time here in Ft. Worth is like a purgatory of sorts - it's not hell but it's not heaven either. It's just been kind of "eh" since I've been back, and my brain has been so racked with Christian History and St. Augustine (the person, not the city) that I haven't really come up with much to rant on...until now.

The title of today's post is also the title of a famous speech by Martin Luther King Jr. If you currently own brain waves and pulse I'm pretty sure you know who that is; however, that is not all MLK is known for. Dr. King wrote a letter from a Birmingham jail which is entitled "Letter from Birmingham Jail." Original title - yeah I know, but the importance is what he writes. In this letter, King writes about injustice and what actions must be taken. He challenges Americans, especially Christians, to consider where they stand because sometimes the most dangerous place to stand is in the middle. In the letter, one can see the glimpses of Dr. Kings heart. His words leap off the page as he expresses seriousness, humor, and grief.

I am a Southern white boy. My mother's family hails from a small town just outside of Birmingham, Alabama. I know based on heritage I may not have much room to talk about Martin Luther King and civil rights, but regardless of who you are or where you're from take the time and read his letter. A simple Google-search will pull it up in no time.

Father Grey, a priest and former instructor of mine, encouraged me to read it upon discovering I was entering the ministry. I never regretted taking that time. As for me, I think my dreaming has come to a close until tomorrow night. I have a busy few days ahead of me. Take care, be good, and have a few dreams of your own. ;)

Admitting You Have a Problem Is the First Step to Fixing It

It's true you know. Or at least counselors would make you believe as such. I think I've discovered my problem - well one of many problems anyway. I'm addicted to television and internet. At least I think I am. I moved into a new dorm, and I am without TV and internet. As a result, I've gone insane with boredom. I can't study unless I have background noise. I'm using a friends computer right now. Well I've admitted my problem, and I know how to fix it...survive until the cable guy shows up Tuesday afternoon. =P

In my insane boredom I have come to realize that I have completed one full year here at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Time flies. Much has happend and much as changed in this one year span. Do I feel smarter? Well, if I said, "Yes," then you would think I have a huge ego, but if I said, "No," you would know that I'm lying ;)

Due to recent events and in honor of my one year tenure here, I felt it would be appropriate to share my call to ministry and the reason I came here in the first place. Personally, one of my favorite things to ask fellow seminarians (that's the fancy term for seminary students to all you non-SWBTS people) is, "So what brings you here?" Most likely the response is, "God called me..." At this point the story is never the same. God's call in people's life is like a finger print - it's different with every person. So, in all fairness, I will share mine.

I am the son of a Southern Baptist deacon. The previous statement alone gives many people many preconceived notions, and, in my case, most of the notions are correct. I was raised in church all the days of my life. I couldn't get out of church even if I wanted to, and believe me I tried.

I came to know Christ at a young age, but it wasn't until my teenage years that it became serious and real in my life. I went to a Christian private school in my high school years and because I'm a geek I always soaked up all the theology and Biblical knowledge I could. To this very day I know a ton of scripture by memory (wow, Psalm 119:11 wasn't joking). I don't say that to show off but to prove a point that will be mentioned later.

Ever since high school I wanted to go into radio and be a DJ - specifically for a rock station. I love music and I love hard rock and alternative stuff. I entered the University of North Florida with the intention of going into radio. Fast forward to just before my junior year. I'm sitting in the advisor's office waiting room about to officially declare my major and take an internship at a radio station. It was at this moment the desire to do anything with radio died. It was instant. The thing I wished for and worked hard for for over two years instantly left me in the span of sixty seconds! I excused myself from the office and walked outside. I didn't panic because UNF has every major underneath the sun available. I could pick one, change the program, and go with it. But nothing satisfied me. I really couldn't see myself doing any of the options available.

I thought about ministry once before many years ago. I always figured that whatever my occupation was in I would help out in whatever local church I was attending. At the time I was working in the youth department basically serving as an interim youth minister. I prayed to God and asked Him for guidance. The more I thought about minstry as a full time occupation the more fulfilling it sounded. Bear in mind, I'm a deacon's kid. I've seen almost first hand how ministry can be political and I'm most certainly not a fan of politics.

I sought out wise council. I went to two men I could trust - my pastor and my father. I told my pastor that I felt God was calling me to the ministry. My pastor responded with, "Here's one way to tell: if you can't be happy doing anything else, then ministry is for you." I simply told my father that I wasn't sure what to do with my career or life. His reply: "Son, I've seen you do many things, some good some stupid, but I've never seen you happier than when you're ministering to those kids."

With much prayer and trembling I accepted God's call in my life. I figured since I'm going to be a minster I might as well receive some formal training (I switched my college major to English in preparation for the reading and writing I'd be facing in seminary). Being a Southern Baptist, I could attend a Southern Baptist Seminary at a good rate (hey, when you're strapped for cash money is an issue). When looking at my options, Southwestern always struck a chord with me. I can't fully explain it. It's not that I have a deep love for Texas (though it has been nice here), but something inside me just cried out, "Go there!"

Learning and studying for what I'm called to do has been great. It is difficult and frustrating at times, but it's managable. Sometimes people get on my nerves, but I figure I'd have the same problem anywhere else I'd be, ministry-based or otherwise. Being in seminary will hopefully train me into thinking more like a pastor. The theology is good to know but it's not an end more than it is a means to that end - a very important truth to consider.

What does this, quite possibly the longest post to date, mean? The year in review means the following: God is in control all the time...Not just while I was in seminary but in my whole life. The upbringing, the Christian school, the scripture memorization, the youth ministry, the church, the call, the seminary. Nothing happend by accident, mistake, or coincidence.

If I may close with some encouragement know this: God has always been in control. He's bigger, stronger, and smarter than we are. Sometimes life may seem good; however, sometimes life may seem utterly hopeless. Whichever side of that track you're on, know that God is at work, preparing all of us for something great for His glory. I hope that makes you smile. As for me, I'm off to bed. Hopefully when I wake up it'll be Tuesday and my dorm will have noise again. =)